Today, whilst going for a run, I noticed that there has been a shift in the way I ask God for things in the past year or two.   It’s a relatively subtle change, but one that I believe has been important in my life and in my relationship with Christ.

In the past, I typically would seek wisdom from God in one way:  ”God, please show me what to do in this situation. Please make it clear so that I will know the right thing to do.”  Or I might say “God, if this is Your will, please open the doors. If it isn’t, please close them.”  Something like that.  Very familiar…very common.

What I noticed this afternoon is that I very seldom pray like this anymore.

Experience has taught me that God is rarely going to tell me what to do before I do it.  He’s rarely going to give me a sign or impression that will give me 100% confidence in a course of action.  More likely, He will equip me for these things in small ways that sometimes are easily missed and often unseen when I am not looking for them.  These small nudges come in a million different forms: people, scripture, circumstances, feelings, ad infinitum.  The result is my continued sanctification (which is God’s will and promise for us all).

I tried to think of an analogy for this and I will admit I did not come up with anything perfectly fitting.  My first instinct is that this is like a path throught the forest that only He can see.  That he keeps me in the clear places between the dense forest on each side, even though I can’t see the big picture. I can’t see where the path is going.

Another example I thought of is the way a vine grows towards the sun. It never sees a plan or gets specific instructions, but its environment results in a very distinct change in the direction of its growth.  I thin it’s a bit like this with us.

The point is this:  God is sovereign.  He knows all, sees all, and cares for all.  He is the guarantor of my life. The non-refundable deposit for my sanctification, so to speak.  If this is true, if I can trust God with the outcome, I have no need to know specifics.  I don’t need to pray for a map when the very universe I have the privilige of living in exists and progresses at the discretion of God and God alone.  He has a million ways to lead me in His will and it seems presumptuous to ask for only one.

I think I used to pray like this because it left me in control in someway.  It was a bit like telling God “I’ll do what you want to do if you send me the instructions.”

Now I pray “God, give me wisdom. Help me to see truth instead of lies. Help me to seek light instead of dark. Guide me in Your paths. May the outcome bring glory to You.”

This, at least in my case, helps me remember that I am small and He is big.  That His ways are higher than mine.  That my plans are so short sighted and laughable next to His.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9

I have a confession to make.  Sometimes I pray for things so that I can get credit for having prayed for them.

I know. It’s bad.  Fortunately this isn’t really my primary motivation; it’s a sneaking temptation that invades my thoughts gradually. It starts out with a pure intention: I have a need/desire/something that concerns me and I begin to pray about it.  I may even recruit others to pray with me about it.

As I continue to pray about it over days or weeks (depending how long my attention span lasts) my thoughts begin to move towards anticipation.  ”With as much prayer as I have given this, God will have to answer my prayer.”  As nonsensical as this thought is, the subsequent thought is worse: “How awesome will I look when I am able to share this story of what God did because of my faithfulness in prayer.”  With this thought, mental images of me “humbly” relaying the details of God’s generousity and my perserverance flood my brain.

And just like that, my supplication becomes a self-glorifying venture. It is no longer a humble request of mighty God, but a means to a prideful end.  It is no longer about God’s glory but my own.

How sad it is that the means of righteousness can be so easily perverted to be the means of sin!

The truth is, we have probably all seen this particular temptation acted out many times before.  We’ve heard stories of men who prayed every day for 7 years and how God miraculously came to their aid–because of the prayers of a great man/woman. We’ve seen graphs of unthinkable monatary success with God given a footnote of credit.  We’ve heard people say “I know if I hadn’t prayed for my husband that night he would have died.”

Don’t get me wrong: there is nothing wrong with telling of God’s great works, we just have to be careful we aren’t using God’s generousity on our behalf as a means of self-promotion.

Paul had more to boast of than anyone but he chose to boast in what God did despite him, not because of him.  He said he would boast of nothing but Jesus.  He was thankful for anything that kept him from being able to take credit.

Recently I found myself thinking in just this way.  I simply had to repent and say “God, if you give me anything may it always be in spite of my best intentions. May I be as a blind man who occassionally stumbles into the light by your grace. May I never be able to take credit for Your works.”

I would much rather be a fool that God blesses anyway than a self-described wise man who knows just what to ask for.