Archive for category Silly
The Neighbors
Posted by clifgriffin in Evil, Silly on October 10th, 2006
Disclaimer: The following story is true. Only the names, sequence, and actual events have been changed.
The neighborhood just isn’t what it used to 
be.
Two nights ago, I came home to find Shanna, Mel, and Emily having a rave party. This was obvious because of the eerie, lumanescent glow of a blacklight that they apparently replaced their porch light with.
That and the loud music and dancing.
Well, you may think this was enough to call the ATF, but we, being peaceful people, decided to let it slide…this time.
You can imagine our surprise when yesterday evening Mill Stream Ln. literally became the “”Red Light”" district. The ominous red glow outside their house turns my stomach.
Anyway, I guess I could use this as a “”prayer request”" in philosophy tomorrow.
What is this world coming to?
Clifton
Hello James
Posted by clifgriffin in Silly on October 8th, 2006
Dear James,
I wanted to talk to you about something. See, you’re sitting on my bed a few feet away from me. But I feel uncomfortable just talking over things with you, so I’m going to write you on my blog.
See, it makes me uncomfortable when you sit on my bed and watch me on my computer. There’s just something unnerving about the situation.
But I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.
So I figure someday, you’ll read this post. And you’ll know how I feel.
Sweet dreams, little buddy.
Clifton
Never, Ever, Ever Under ANY Circumstance…
Posted by clifgriffin in Personal, Silly on September 8th, 2006
Never, ever, ever, under any circumstance tell the woman who is removing blood from your body that you feel nauseas. Your life is quickly transformed into an episode of General Hospital.
Before you know it you’re on your back with your feet raised and people are yelling stuff like “”Ice Pack!”" and “”Fan!”" and you keep being asked “”Are you doing ok?”" “”How are you feeling?”"
And no amount of “”I’m feeling great actually, as good as new!”" will comfort them.
When you do try to sit up, they tell you to lie back down and go through a slow procedure of sitting you up one lawn chair notch at a time every 3 – 5 minutes.
Upon leaving, you aren’t allowed to carry anything and they hold your arm like they expect you to have a seizure and fall any second. “”He’s seizing!”" /house
Once you do make it back to the snack area you have about three little old ladies who constantly ask you how you are feeling in an up close and personal “”This kid has downs syndrome”" kind of way.
Anyway, live and learn. That’s what I say.
Clifton
In honor of a good pun…
Posted by clifgriffin in Personal, Silly on August 20th, 2006
Well, here’s the sitch. Drew, James, and I were walking through Walmart to rummage through the giant, unorganized bin of $5 DVD’s. (I guess since I said ”"Walmart”", ”"giant”" and “”unorganized”" was redundant.)
Anyway, we were talking about politics and how to make our world better (naturally) when James observed: “”The thing about Mel Gibson is this: He hates those Jews with the passion.”"
Needless to say, we laughed and laughed.
Wait, you aren’t laughing? You don’t think it’s funny? Well I don’t care, you should have been there. You would have laughed. I promise.
Another funny thing James said that evening.. “”I like my women like I like my dog: small and with no hair on their backs.”"
Also not funny, you say?
You should see James’ dog.
Uselessly,
Clifton
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