Archive for category Evil
James Ruined Scaremare!
Posted by clifgriffin in Evil, Personal, Rant on October 19th, 2006
Every year I have this tradition: I go to Scaremare, I get the heeby jeebies and I get saved again.
Well this year, it all got ruined by one inconsiderate and selfish man whom I will call James. (Because that’s his name.)
Everything was going well. I was feeling conviction and highly aware of my temporal, sin ravaged state, when James decided that it would be a good idea to pass out in the strobe light room. Did I mention the strobe light room used to be my favorite room at Scaremare?
So, needless to say, everyone one got excited and was like “”Woo! It’s a dead guy!”" And I was like “”HE’S NOT FREAKING DEAD! I WANT SAVED!”"
Well, whatever I wanted at that point didn’t matter because apparently getting a headache makes you more important than me.
Next thing I knew I was surrounded by medics and self important Scaremare security guys who lost their job as supervisor at McDonalds who were yelling things like “”Standby!”" “”Clear the room.”" “”Go go go team Dwight!”"
So, I had to take James home. The evening was ruined.
Maybe I’ll just bring a dog next time.
Clifton
How many children have you murdered today?
Posted by clifgriffin in Evil, Silly on October 12th, 2006
Do you ever meet people that just give you the creeps? It’s not usually anything in particular; it might be their personal aura that speaks loudly of “”death”" and “”children”". And you just want to go up and ask them “”How many children have you murdered today?”"
But you never actually do, because you are either afraid they’ll take it the wrong way or you’re afraid that they’ll answer with a number higher than 0.
There is one such man in my Business Communications class. Everytime I see him, I feel something akin to what Obi Wan Kanobi must have felt when he said “”I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if more than 0 children suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.”"
I think that is what he said.
I guess there is nothing to do, really. I can’t prove any of this.
All I can do is keep my children away from him. (All of my many ones.)
Nervously,
Clifton
The Neighbors
Posted by clifgriffin in Evil, Silly on October 10th, 2006
Disclaimer: The following story is true. Only the names, sequence, and actual events have been changed.
The neighborhood just isn’t what it used to 
be.
Two nights ago, I came home to find Shanna, Mel, and Emily having a rave party. This was obvious because of the eerie, lumanescent glow of a blacklight that they apparently replaced their porch light with.
That and the loud music and dancing.
Well, you may think this was enough to call the ATF, but we, being peaceful people, decided to let it slide…this time.
You can imagine our surprise when yesterday evening Mill Stream Ln. literally became the “”Red Light”" district. The ominous red glow outside their house turns my stomach.
Anyway, I guess I could use this as a “”prayer request”" in philosophy tomorrow.
What is this world coming to?
Clifton
You know the type.
Posted by clifgriffin in Evil, Personal, Rant on October 6th, 2006
I may seem uncharitable, but I have to rant a little. My philosophy class has no attendance policy, and attendance doesn’t seem to be closely related to class performance.
Being my last class, I find myself skipping more and more and more and more…and you get the point.
I have nothing against the class except one girl, whom we shall call Sally.
Let’s just say she’s of the redheaded bossy persuasion. Very well spoken, except that you want to kill yourself when she raises a point in class. I’ve never seen someone so obsessed with minutia and hearing their own voice pontificate and delve into matters of philosophy that no one cares about to try to discern truth.
She literally thinks she’s smarter than Descarte or Plato, or any other philosopher. “”But <attitude> that makes no sense at all. Isn’t it obvious that blah blah blah blah blah.”"
She’s also the type that uses prayer requests as a personal blog where she can complain about her life.
Today was the perfect storm. We got to hear how she eloped, and her parents disinherited her from $500,000 dollars, she’s living in a car, her new husband’s mom has cancer, her Aunt Frita’s parakeet may have a stomach ulcer, etc.
And this is bad…but I had to keep myself from laughing. It was just awkward. When someone asks for prayer requests, they want “”Pray for me, I’m struggling financially.”" Everyone can then nod their head and say “”Oh, she must have money problems.”" They don’t want to hear all of the embarassing gorey details.
Anyway, the rest of you know people like this. And you think things like this.
At least that’s what I’m going to tell myself as I push the magic button to turn this into reality.
Peaches and cream,
Clifton
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