Archive for category Evil
The Virus Story: Operation Dust Bunny
Posted by clifgriffin in Evil, Personal, Technology on December 2nd, 2008
Note: I’m perfectly aware that what I wrote was not actually a virus. Virus definitions define it various ways ranging from a trojan to “potentially unwanted software”. In the purest sense it wasn’t a virus, trojan, worm, or any other derivative–which is fine by me. It wasn’t my intention to write a virus in the first place.
Every so often and a few of my close friends love to casually mention that I “wrote a virus”. This is usually in front of a cute girl or a large group of people who I don’t know very well.
This invariably leaves me in the position of either a) letting the remarks stand umodified, or b) qualifying the story with the facts. I usually choose b. A story like this might not be the key to a ladies heart (or anyone else’s for that matter), but I guess I get points for being unique.
It’s been a long time since these things happened so a lot of the details are hazy. I don’t think about it often and when I do think about it, it seems like it happened in another lifetime. Because of all of this, I’m going to write all of the details down to assist my memory, and possibly entertain you with the antics of a 19 year old with too much time and too little social life. Read the rest of this entry »
Phil 201: When ingenuity meets irresponsibility…
Posted by clifgriffin in Evil, Personal on December 11th, 2006
While this may sound a little arrogant or even snobby, I don’t care. This is a story that needs to be told.
This year I’ve had one class where my attendance had no relationship to my grade and so I’ve found myself exploiting this as often as possible. As it is my last class on MWF, I found myself almost never going.
While I don’t have exact numbers, I’m confident that overall I was absent more times than I was present. Something I’ve never before even come close to achieving.
Even more delightful, my class average has been an A.
For the last test, the final exam, I managed to miss all the class periods covering the unit being tested. So, not knowing what the test was on, I elected to study for it the hour before class. Approximately 1:30 PM.
Reading over the notest, I showed up for the exam 10 minutes early at 2:40. Looking around the room and seeing around 5 students working on their exams I realized I’d made a grievous error. The professor eyed me impatiently.
“”Are you just now showing up for the exam?
“”Yes,”" I replied sheepishly.
He handed me a copy of the test with some disgust. I sat down and began working on the test. 50 questions, multiple choice.
Approximately 8 minutes later, I finished and handed him the finished copy. He looked surprised and asked me if I’d felt rushed. I assured him I didn’t. There were at least 4 students left still working.
I just got the test results in, I received a 92, which gives me a 92 average in the class. Which is the 3rd highest grade average overall.
So I’m feeling pretty good. I achieved the best results with a literally minimal effort.
Thank you standardized tests.
If you’re mad at me, I don’t care.
Love,
Clif
Some antagonistic t-shirt ideas!
Posted by clifgriffin in Evil, Satire on November 30th, 2006
I took a shower this evening, and I came up with some funny t-shirt ideas that will exploit the KJV-only crowd. I feel that this is what God would want me to do. It’s an effective way to be an evangelist for sound thinking.
Anyway, here goes…
Pictures a black t-shirt with these words…
KJV
Inspired by God
Translated by Catholics
Embraced by Yokels
Too harsh? Well don’t worry, I have more ideas in my Mary Poppins sized bag o’ fun….
KJV
I read it for the cuss words.
T-shirts guaranteed to make people mad. Fun for the whole family!
I have my work cut out for me, see you soon…with my new t-shirt!
Clifton
What Dan didn’t notice…
Posted by clifgriffin in Evil, Personal on November 24th, 2006
So, Dan pays the cable bill. All 60 dollars of it and we reimburse him our shares. Anyway, this last month, Dan decided he would demand the money be given to him in the form a check. Now I’m a 21 year old guy–the chance I know where my check book is on any given afternoon is almost 0. So I had to wait a day to give him the money.
During this 24 hour window I received probably 9 past due notices from Dan. So when I did write him the check it looked like this.
Happy Thanksgiving, Dan. Don’t be a tool next time.
Love ya,
Clifton
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